I think a lot of the stress in a relationship comes from the daily things you do that you feel the other person doesn't appreciate. I try to be a good communicator when I'm upset, although it often takes me awhile to figure out exactly why I'm upset to begin with. I try to be a good listener when my partner is upset. But mostly, I try to avoid either Tim or I getting upset at all. One way I know to avoid anyone being out of sorts is to make sure life runs smoothly. I find people are better tempered when they've had adequate sleep, when they're well fed, and when the house is clean and things are organized. A lot of people would probably look at my life and my million lists and my calendars and my apps and think that it's a lot of work, but to me it's worth it to keep my mind calm. Most of the time I feel like I have a pretty good handle on whatever life could throw at me.
That's taken some adjusting for Tim, who is definitely a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants kind of guy. I'm trying to be spontaneous and agree to things he wants to do as he thinks of them, and I really feel like he does a great job of trying to accommodate my weird need to schedule things.
Days we have to work are pretty routine - which I love. The alarm goes off and Tim hits snooze. The alarm goes off again and Tim hits snooze. I usually start getting up at this point because I have to shower first. I shower, then he showers. If I pack our lunches, he makes the bed and vice verse. We eat breakfast together while watching Breakfast TV (a morning habit of Tim's he apparently picked up from his Mom). Tim usually does the breakfast dishes while I finish makeup and hair. After work we make dinner together, he lets me take photos of it. He goes to work at Lakefield College while I clean up the dinner dishes, study, read, whatever. Once he gets home we'll usually rehash the day and vegetate a bit, Tim maybe has a glass of wine. Then bed.
The only part of that routine we're still figuring out is who decides what we're having for dinner. If it were just me, I pick out five recipes (that hopefully use up any perishables that are in the fridge), make a grocery list with what I need, and then make those recipes. Tim doesn't really do lists. Or planning. Not his style. So all last week it was my recipes, and this week we've been throwing in some of his ideas. So far it hasn't been too bad. He's amazing at staying calm when I get flustered about not knowing what we're doing, which in turn calms me down.
Anyways, last night was another one of his "recipes" for a Thai Red Curry. And it was absolutely wonderful. I was expecting a bit more heat to it, since that's what I'm used to with curries, but this was wonderfully sweet and very different. I do think I would dump a little sambal oelek in it for spice next time when he wasn't looking. Just the teeniest bit.
Red Thai Curry
Serves two with leftovers for two lunches
2 chicken breasts, cut into 1" cubes
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 medium zucchini, chopped
1/2 onion, chopped (Tim used shallots, since that was what we had)
1 large portobello mushroom, chopped
1 large can coconut milk
2 tbsp red curry paste
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 cup uncooked basmati rice, cooked
Green onions or chives, sliced finely on the diagonal, for garnish
1/2 to 1 tsp sambal oelek (optional)
1. Fry chicken in a little olive oil over medium heat until the outside is no longer pink. Add vegetables, stirfry for a few minutes until chicken is cooked through. Season with salt and pepper.
2. Add coconut milk and curry paste (and sambal oelek, if using). Simmer for 5-10 minutes, or until vegetables are at your desired doneness.
3. Put rice in bowl, top with curry, sprinkle green onions on top for colour.
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